My job is causing me to have panic attacks. I am now cutting again. I need to get out of this job before it kills me.
And I’m back to only drinking 2-3 meal replacement shakes per day. I swear my eating habits are so fucked.
You think my pockets are bad…you should see my bag.
Daily occurrence on my unit. Even worse when you have to grab their arm ungloved and realize you just stuck your hand in blood.
This is me right here
I’m just like,
Is it sad that I’m hoping I just keep getting sicker with whatever I have and end up in respiratory distress and having to go to the hospital. And then to be put into a coma and be out for days on end. There is def something wrong with me. I just need a break from life.
This is the month I would have had my baby 10 years ago if I was not forced into abortion. Begin heavy drinking, cutting and pill taking for the next at least 3 days only because I have to go back to work and act like everything is normal. Hopefully I don’t dissociate to bad and do anything stupid this year. I could have a 10 year old son right now but no.